ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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