If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm too high and old for this...