i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.