Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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