I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
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