You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
