You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Found your dick twin last night
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
