Me too!
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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