But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
