I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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