Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
only you would photoshop your dick
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
