So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
