I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
