WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just found puke in my bra..
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
