i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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