: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
