I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
