There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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