you win again, gameday.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
