Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
