Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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