I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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