There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
