I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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