I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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