To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
