Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
