I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
