It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
