On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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