sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
