of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
