porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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