Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You've changed since you got that strap on
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
