Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
