she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
