batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
We're too hungover to prance.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize