i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
