Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
