you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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