just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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