He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
