Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
