Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
