it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
