how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
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It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
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DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Your penis caused this!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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