I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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