I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
