her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
