Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.