that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.