i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
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Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
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I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now