Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  What's wrong?

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Pussy.

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  (503): What's wrong? (1-503): Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans. (503): Pussy. http://tfl.nu/sltt
  Replies (18) Good night (776) Bad night (2129)
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  (925): View more from California

  I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be

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  (925): I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be http://tfl.nu/7ydp
  Replies (4) Good night (1270) Bad night (2125) Order T-Shirt
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.

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  (636): So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man. http://tfl.nu/8qmy
  Replies (73) Good night (8984) Bad night (1160) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.

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  (970): I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it. http://tfl.nu/8hng
  Replies (28) Good night (10244) Bad night (1010) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.

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  (813): His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up. http://tfl.nu/dgzw
  Replies (35) Good night (1377) Bad night (4182) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  ...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.

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  (717): ...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk. http://tfl.nu/2qzx
  Replies (4) Good night (1743) Bad night (674) Order T-Shirt
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  (646): View more from New York

  I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..

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  (646): I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me.. http://tfl.nu/zo74
  Replies (9) Good night (659) Bad night (1230) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  "Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Nope, his last birthday was.

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  (910): "Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right? (770): Nope, his last birthday was. http://tfl.nu/dk94
  Replies (5) Good night (1933) Bad night (477)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"

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  (865): Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris" http://tfl.nu/5ny6
  Replies (6) Good night (2099) Bad night (409) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  the gays at disneyland are vicious

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  (916): the gays at disneyland are vicious http://tfl.nu/i9ir
  Replies (13) Good night (1671) Bad night (514) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.

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  (419): We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful. http://tfl.nu/rk3h
  Replies (6) Good night (966) Bad night (305) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first

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  (312): Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first http://tfl.nu/6e2a
  Replies (3) Good night (789) Bad night (915) Order T-Shirt
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle

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  (231): I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle http://tfl.nu/1xsa
  Replies (7) Good night (909) Bad night (323) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed

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  (425): This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed http://tfl.nu/f7du
  Replies (1) Good night (747) Bad night (185) Order T-Shirt
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock

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  (318): My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock http://tfl.nu/d5ea
  Replies (10) Good night (1450) Bad night (181)

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