He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
