my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
