And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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