no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
whose parrot is this?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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