I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
