I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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