you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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